What does this say about me?
I met a man online 2 years ago and we dated, started a relationship, spent a lot of time with his family and I was happy. He complimented me, made me feel special, and always wanted to plan trips for us to take. I was happy, felt secure, and felt like I was finally in a relationship with someone open and honest who loved me and I loved him. Then he seemed distant. The trips he would take with me would be daytrips and the trips he'd take with some of his guy friends could run a week. When we were alone, he would barely touch me but when we were around his family and his best friends and their wives he would act very romantic. He started to put me down, then right before Christmas called me just to say he had no feelings for me. I didn't respond. After a week, he started to call me and apologize for what he had said and how he acted. I asked him why he did it and he claims he doesn't know. I tried to figure it out myself knowing that he wasn't apologizing in the hopes of getting a booty-call because he had not touched me in forever anyway. When he asked me to take him back I asked why he wanted me since he had been so distant even before the horrible things he said to me. He said he realized what's important in his life and it's me and he was committed to doing whatever it takes to win me back. I wanted to believe him but found it hard to trust him because I felt like he only wanted me around when other people were around like he was showing me off for some reason I couldn't figure out. We agreed to take it slow and try to start dating from new. Just as we started to talk like we did in the beginning he tries to force me to accompany him to one of those things I felt he just used to show me off to some people at and I said no. I told him I still had feelings for him but I needed to be able to trust that he was happy spending time with me alone and not just making me feel like he's showing me off to some people and then disappearing. Out of nowhere he gets mad, yells at me and says if I won't go with him where he wants to take me he wants to tell me something. He then tells me that he's been seeing lots of women at the same time and I'm not special enough. He hurt me. Then he says he wasn't seeing any women and doesn't know why he made that up. I was so confused and hurt. He didn't really apologize after that, just tried to get me to have lunch with him and his family, no apology. I told him that since he couldn't apologize to me for saying such horrible things I wanted him to stop telling people we were back together. I really thought he cared enough about me to say he was sorry and at least be friends but instead of saying sorry he made sarcastic rude remarks to me. I couldn't figure out why he kept coming back and trying to parade me around as his girlfriend when he didn't want to speak politely to me anymore, he didn't want to sleep with me, he didn't want to go on any overnight trips with me, he only wanted me to accompany him to his mom's for lunch on the weekend and disappear. He never said sorry or explained anything to me. The two years I invested and cared for him during seemed to not mean anything to him.